A Painful Reminder

Despite the fact I crammed in a quick ab workout into a busy day just after a huge face stuffing, it was obviously successful. I'm sore today. Not the so-sore-I-cant-move kind of sore, but sore enough I have a pretty constant reminder that I did actually do something. Its also a pretty big reminder that I was inactive for about 9 months and have a lot of work to do to get back in shape. It was something I mentally struggled with after Brooke as well ... even when you look good, you just dont feel good. I remember those first runs after Brooke, how depressed it made me feel at the level of challenge I experienced for such short distances at such slow speeds. And how hard it was to fit running into my schedule, both physically and emotionally. Each run I would manage made me even more frustrated because they were constant reminders of how much work I had to do and how much of the work I had done prior had been lost.

And now with a second baby, I have lost all of my previous training ... but also lost the post baby body I worked so hard to get back the first time! And with Brooke I had so much more time to workout, I actually spent about a year really focused on getting back into shape. I did the abs class, an outdoor fitness class, and then did the Winter Warriors program to train for a 1/2 Marathon in Miami. Despite the fact that that race was a huge fiasco, my running and training just prior to that was the best I had ever experienced. I was stronger and faster than I ever had been before.

Now I have two kids. A body that has been changed by two pregnancies. I'm still a student. I have no clue where to go from here. I'm excited I did one abs workout, but I need to do four of them a week in order to keep up with what I did in that class. In addition to that ... I have to start running in just a couple of weeks. Im glad I signed up for the Shuffle because I know I will train (at least somewhat) for that race. I'm hoping it gets me back into some sort of groove. And I'm looking for a longer race in the fall/winter of this year to keep me moving.

Pregnancy is like a reoccuring injury that you have to keep battling back from. It's frustrating to see your efforts destroyed and having to keep starting back at ground zero. On the other hand, with an injury you dont have anything positive to show for your efforts. I'm lucky because I have two pretty great reasons for this continual up-and-downhill-battle!