June 22, 2010

I Have A Problem

So my trainer was here just a bit ago, and now I'm waiting for my cookies to come out of the oven. Yeah, I'm seriously baking cookies after a training session. I thought about cookies the whole time and now I'm going to have them.

And yes, thats a serious problem. But its not the big problem. The big problem is that I feel so horrible after each of these sessions. I know that a break can really take a wear on the body, but I'm just having a hard time dealing with the level of struggle I am facing. I can't do anything she asks me to do. Everything has to be modified to make it easier. I hate having to keep admitting that the exercise is too hard, or that my neck hurts, or that I cant make it to 15 reps ... etc. I want to just get better at it. I want to be stronger. I want to feel better about myself.

But I also have a bit of an uphill battle. Because I can work out as much as possible over the upcoming months but I still have to start all over again after baby #2 arrives. I know my recovery will be that much easier if I can build up what I've lost over the next few months, but sometimes I just think that I could just sit around for the next 20 weeks ... and then start fresh then.

And back to the cookies. So yeah, thats a problem. And while my trainer was here I let it slip that my (awesome) husband brought me McDonalds yesterday. The look on her face was close to horror. She started asking me about how often I eat McDonalds and if I know how much sodium is in it. Then she asked what I ate. I told her it was a double cheeseburger (I didnt even tell her I had the fries too) and she told me it "wasnt even real meat".

Ok, so I eat horribly and I am a big wuss. I also dont hydrate enough. I guess I have a host of problems. But I dont really feel bad about myself when I'm not hydrating or when I'm eating crappy. I sure do feel bad when I'm unable to complete a set of reps or lift a little weight or even do a modified push up.

Well, I finished my cookies and now I feel a little bit better. One step at a time I guess.


Anonymous said...

I often eat bad food after a workout. Somehow I think working out justifies eating crap? Doesn't make much sense and I'm trying to work on that.
I have a serious weakness for McDonalds fries...

Jess said...

Did I miss a post that you're preggo? If so, belated congrats!!

I think the occassional treat is fine -- everybody needs a cookie now and then!

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

Ok so one...yes workout now and no you won't lose it all, I swear from reading other bloggers it sounds like it will help you post pregnancy to bounce back faster.

Two well we aren't perfect people right? Life is meant to be lived, so you just have to decide what makes you happier... McDonald's or the results you want from training..then find a balance

Jamie said...

Oh I am so good at eating badly and giving into what I really want!

N.D. said...

well those cookies look really good! I find that I crave sweets when I'm lacking on protein or just not eating enough !

N.D. said...

btw - I slept awful last night! so maybe delivery isn't too soon :)