September 27, 2010

Still Alive ... Barely

Last night (if you call 3AM "night", that is) I turned in a portion of my dissertation proposal to my advisor. It was 30+ pages, and probably half the length of the ultimate product ... but maybe 1/4 of the work of the ultimate project :( I have three weeks left for the deadline I set for myself (10/15) and four weeks for my advisor's deadline. I dont want to push it out that late since I'm due with baby #2 shortly after that date ... and I know he will not accept early labor as an excuse for not sending him the work.

So I've been working 3 days a week, 5 hours at a time with my sitter. I work about 2 hours during Brooke's nap every day I dont have the sitter. After Brooke goes to bed I put in about 4 hours of work (last night, about 6 hours). And yet despite all the hours I have put in, what I sent last night was still very much draft-form. Its not a huge deal because it was more of a good-faith-check-in ... so he knows I'm out here progressing towards my goal. But it IS a huge deal in the respect that I'm putting in so much time and still struggling to end up with a completed project.

I was up until 2AM on Saturday night. Not having fun. Not getting things ready for the new baby. I was working. And Brooke got up at 6:30, of course. Luckily, Daddy got up with her and let me get an extra hour of sleep in the morning. It was the most awesome thing in the world. I wish he could be here every morning so I can crash a little longer after these late night dissertation crunches :)

To top it off, I had to cancel my trainer today, because she comes during Brooke's nap ... and today I'm taking a nap when she does. And despite the fact I got about 2 hours of sleep last night and know I need (and deserve) a nap, I already feel guilty about the time I'm losing sleeping instead of doing some of the other things I have to do.

Even more importantly ... this is a huge week. Brooke turns TWO on Friday, and its also her first day of school. So, while I'm stressing about my school, right now I'm even more worried about the fact that I have to drop of my "baby" for her first day of school in just a few days. I guess the good thing is, the night before I will likely get tons of work done ... since I'm not gonna be able to sleep anyway ;)


Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

hum well I can't say I relate at all so I won't go there, but I can say you should be sooooo proud of yourself! I mean did you read that post??? Look at everything you are getting done while still being a good mommy... I hope things start to come together for you

christina said...

SO PROUD OF YOU !!!!!! You own this B****.

Jess said...

I can't imagine how tired you are!

Get some rest: Running on empty won't make for a better dissertation.

On another note: Happy b-day to Brooke! And good luck with her start fo school. It isn't easy leaving those little nuggets.