Brooke was born 10/1/2008.
I cant really tell you how I have changed in those 12 months, but I can tell you that Brooke learned to roll over, then crawl, then sit up, then stand up, then walk, then run ... and now dance ... in those 12 months. She went from crying, to babbling, to talking, and now singing and yelling in those 12 months. She has learned to hug and to hit. She has experienced joy and anger. She is fearless and yet timid in a new and unfamiliar environment. She will spontaneously laugh and just as spontaneously throw a temper tantrum. She went from a liquid diet to one filled with fruits and vegetables ... and now one that consists of little more than macaroni and cheese. In one word, she is amazing.
I can easily admit I have let her consume a little bit too much of my life. And how could I not? Although she can drive me crazy and I find it hard to steal a moment of peace (forget things like using the restroom alone, or taking a nice long shower!), I also struggle with the thought of leaving her and want to spend every waking minute I have right by her side.
So, if you remove the biggest element of my 2009 equation, what exactly did I accomplish this year?
I guess you can say I started my dissertation. I have some scrambled notes here and there, and excel spreadsheet filled with references, and a pile of papers a mile high. It is all in my head and I need to get in on paper ... but its not completely abandoned. This area really took a hit thanks to Brooke, but also because I chose to put something that is pretty important towards the bottom of my list. Priorities will change for 2010.
Part of my schooling (and future career) involves publications. I basically conduct research and write articles that none of you will ever read (nor do you have the desire to). Anyway, I had two publications this year (which is actually a pretty huge deal).
Understanding and Measuring Autonomy: An Entrepreneurial Orientation Perspective
Entrepreneurship Theory and Practice, Vol. 33, Issue 1, pp. 47-69, January 2009
And Chapter 7 of Information Technology and Product Development (Annals of Information Systems)
(If you didnt think I was a geek before, I bet you do now)
I started the year hating my post-baby body, I now end the year accepting it. I did numerous classes for toning and strengthening and got back into running. I lost all of my baby weight (plus a few extra) but still dont have the same shape (or firmness) in my body ... but I have learned to be ok with it. Im still working on feeling "good" about myself, but feel like I have come a long way.
I made my grand return to running. I went from 26.2 in 2007 to zero in 2008. I started 2009 off with a NYD 5K (after almost 12 months of non-running) that was both humiliating and humbling. I started back slowly and coupled with my post-baby body and general feeling-sorry-for-myself-ness, had a generally rough time. I dont know how many miles I logged in 2009. I generally fight myself to get out the door and put in what little miles I do. But, I do know one thing. I have learned to value the role running has in my life. For those of you who have followed this blog for a while I think you are familiar with my battle, the "reluctant runner". I have pondered many times while typing whether or not I "am a runner" or just someone who incorporates running as a form of exercise. I think now, as this year comes to a close, after a year of marathon training, a year of time off, and a year of a comeback, I can confirm...
I am a runner :)