July 31, 2009

Showing Me Up

Of course, just as expected, I am not running. I dont have a goal (like a race) to work towards and so running just easily (but remoresefully) slips from my life. I have been worried about the upcoming fall semester and my return to part-time work and my dissertation, and little distratctions seem to continually appear larger than life.

I cannot find the time to run despite the fact that a sometimes-runner + baby + jogging stroller = opportunity. I just have reached some sort of mental hurdle regarding it. I worry about the safety of pushing around my little one around busy intersections and across alleyways where people seldom pay attention. I doubt my ability to push a 20+ lb baby in a 23 lb stroller. I picture getting a few miles out before she decides she no longer wants to be sitting in that 23 lb stroller, in which she proceeds to have a temper tantrum during the entire way back. Basically, I have one concern and issue after another. Each one of them seems pretty valid to me ... and so I continue to avoid running with her.

Yesterday morning I went out nice and early to get some coffee and saw a woman running with a stroller across the street. Not only was she running with a stroller, but she was running with a dualie (a double). And from the glimpse I saw she had at least one toddler in there ... who would have easily been 30 or more pounds alone. She was also running pretty fast (faster than me, thats for sure) and talking to her kids as she ran. To top that off ... she also had a dog with her :(

So it made every excuse I have look pretty weak. In fact, she made me look pretty week. Did she inspire me to get out there and run? Well, no. But she made me feel guilty for not doing it!


Casey said...

Nah. Guilt is not a useful feeling. If you feel motivated, go with it. If you feel challenged, sure. Don't let seeing someone else make you feel guilty. You never know how or why she was able to go for that super woman run. She's not you, so don't compare yourself. Just do what you can do.

Jess said...

Sounds like you're over-thinking it. Just go out and try it out for a short distance.